A Tribute

I remember the day with perfect clarity. It was March of 2017, a few weeks before Easter. I can’t recall the sermon, but I remember it was a Sunday we took communion. I was in the middle of a long season of breaking…a very long season that was about to be marked by further breaking...breaking my hard heart, my chains and my will. As I held the bread in my hand, I experienced a moment with Jesus that will forever be seared into my soul. I imagine the moment when Jesus looked at Peter after he denied him (Luke 22:61); I sat there vulnerable, exposed. The Lord had my attention and I heard with perfect clarity in my heart, “I was broken for you, are you willing to be broken for me?” He proceeded to convict my heart of other distractions in my life, things that were vying for the place He desired to dwell (1 Cor. 3:16). He convicted me of being like someone trying to vow but yet looking for an escape. He knew all about it. I sobered, confessed, and I did respond, “yes, Lord, I am willing…” I was talking to my Pastor at the end of the sermon and he told me a quote that he had wanted to share, but it never made it in the sermon. I knew after he spoke that it was just meant for me that day.

“Before God can use a man greatly, He must wound Him deeply.” -Oswald Chambers

Why am I sharing this? Well, seven months later, after another trauma in my family, I found myself writing a blog called “The Wilderness Way”. It was meant to keep people updated on the incident and progress; however, it grew into something more, it grew into something God wanted, something He wanted from me. I had been reluctant to blog previously, but this forced me into unaware obedience. During the Fall of 2017 God had recalled to my mind that moment in March and He told me clearly, “this is what it means to be broken and poured out for Me.” Writing has always been a part of me, mostly about me, for me. Well, in 2017 God started making my writing about Him. Fast forward over a lot of life that will be threaded through everything that happens here, I am ready to open up again, ready to re-start, or maybe just continue what’s been started.

This post is a tribute to what God did and what God is about to do. At that time, I didn’t know if I believed that God would ever resurrect my life, but as a testimony from the breaking, is the birth of a softening in His hands. This is like a resurrection for me, a Lazarus moment, He’s calling me out of my proverbial grave. It’s been quite a journey, my friends, and I can’t wait to share the ups and downs as we are all pressing “toward the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14).

My prayer is simple, that you would be encouraged to draw near, to press in, to go deep with Him.